Twilight Princess: My Rewrite
by KimWearsBlackGlasses
Summary: DISCONTINUING! So sorry for people who liked it. Review if you still want to. I only keep this story because it was my first ever piece posted on FanFiction... Heh.
1. Prologue

(Author's Note: I must warn you that some things are altered in this story. It might not be exactly the same as the game, but, oh well. You'll live. For example, I don't want to explain how Link chops down trees and makes the trees into logs, so instead, there's just going to be a hut full of prepared logs by the Faron Spring. Hmm. But! I'll include little details that actually appear in the game. Like, if you stand at any spring [with fairies with your sword unsheathed, fairies land on your head and the sword. Or, if you stab a creature in the Twilight Realm before you transform them back to their original shapes, they rear back [I'm not even sure how far I'm going to write this story, so the Twilight Realm may or may not be included. All right, then. I'd go on, but I DO want to keep some of these secrets for myself. Also, a disclaimer. I do not own Link, Midna, or any organism related to the Zelda series. All of it belongs to Nintendo. Anyways, enjoy!)

_**Prologue**_

Take your orange-red hair, arrange it into a mess of upright spikes in the front, and leave just enough neat hair to make a shimmering, shoulder-length ponytail. Lift a broken, ancient stone helmet and carefully place it onto your head. Catch your reflection in a black, nighttime lake, because you lack even a mirror, to take in your dark mirroring. Notice that the helmet completely covers your left eye (your right eye would be covered, but, alas, it is a broken helmet), leaving a slanted one, with a red pupil and yellow sclera, on the right. All of the skin in the upper half of your perfect-circle face is discolored black, leaving just the other half of your blue face, and your mouth. The left corner of your mouth, even when closed, has a vicious inch-long fang clawing its way out between your lips, scaring almost everything you see away. Feel your eyes start to tear up, and, with effort, pull your eyesight away from the reflection you dread. Come to realize you wouldn't know your own gender by first glance, if you didn't know yourself that you were female. You don't have any friends in this world, and you feel absolutely hideous. Bring your hands up to hide your face from a nonexistent audience, and break into a paroxysm of tears.

Your name is Midna.

(Author's Note After First Review: I won't be doing second person perspective the entire story. Now THAT'D be a challenge.)


	2. Chapter 1

Epona obediently followed her master through the heavily wooded area known as Faron. She noticed tiny forest animals at her hooves, but not one stopped to talk to her. This was not unreasonable, for she was a particularly large, not to mention frightening carthorse. Besides, this walk through Faron was not one of pleasure, she knew. She was only there to carry logs on her back to her owner's town for fire. A petty way to use a horse as strong as she, for Epona could, quite literally, move mountains if she set her mind to it. She _was_ named after a goddess for a reason. But she knew better than to protest. Even if her work was petty, she liked her life in the town of Ordon. A perfect little town. It was strangely small, with less than ten families residing in it, although none would call its size a burden, for it made the community all the more tightly knit. Its houses were not made from stone, but entirely from the forest. Ordon was too beautiful a place to taint with the dull browns and greys of stone. It provided a care-free life. 

Epona eyed the forest around her. The trees stretched at least fifteen feet in the air, towering over the boulders and plants. The midnight moonlight streamed through scraggly branches and onto the leaf and twig-infested ground. She came here often, and never got tired of seeing the same relaxing scenery. Her master found where he wanted to stop, a hut stacked to the ceiling with prepared logs, and informed Epona of this by untying the rope he had been leading her with from her neck. Before trotting off, Epona nuzzled her owner's cheek, which was returned by a hug around her neck. She started off into a large tunnel, about ten feet high, which lead to a fork in the road. One path lead to a maze of smaller, darker tunnels, and even Epona didn't know where these ultimately lead to. She was far too large to enter them. The other path lead to a chocolate skinned, Afro-bearing man named Coro, selling lanterns and lantern oil in front of his treehouse. He hoped to make a living by selling these things to people who wanted to go into the dark tunnels. But being sort of a...tree-hugger, he didn't attract many customers.

Epona headed for Coro's path. Not that she wanted a lantern, but because she wanted to see Hyrule Field before her master finished collecting logs. Hyrule Field was lead to by a trail that was just a few feet away from the man's "shop," and it was the center of all the Kingdom of Hyrule. In Hyrule Field, Epona could gallop freely, for all it was, was a field. A big, fat, green field. All to herself. Getting to the trail, however, would be hard. She wanted to steer clear of Coro, due to the fact that he'd come chasing after her, wanting to pet her, or ride her, or whatever tree-huggers liked doing with horses. Fortunately, he was asleep. Unfortunately, the inevitable ruckus made by her hooves woke him. Epona desperately tried hiding, but being six feet tall and colored bright brown in a world of green, camouflaging herself was impossible. The eccentric man quickly spotted her in the moonlight, and waved cheerfully. As if she could understand him. Epona grimaced, and whinnied in exasperation, similar to a human's shudder. Before she could dart off towards the trail, something caught her eye. In the entrance to the trail was a tall, locked gate. Getting to the field would be impossible, she now knew, but that wasn't what she saw. What she saw was a blue-skinned imp in revealing, black clothing.

Coro didn't notice it, for he was too busy making his way toward 'this beautiful horse.' The imp was no more than two feet tall, and it was approaching – no, _floating towards _– the gate. Epona squinted, and shook her head with enormous effort, as if trying to shake a bug out of her hair, or a bad memory out of her thoughts. When Epona discovered she could still see it, she gave a short, annoyed neigh and continued observing the...thing. It had bright orange hair wrapped into a ponytail and a strange stone helmet on its head, and it was evident that the imp was trying to open the gate. Suddenly, it jumped, as if it had just figured out a devious puzzle, and threw its hands into the air. Epona just stared, wide-eyed, as the imp snapped its fingers. With that, the thing melted itself, transformed into something like blue and orange bubbles. The bubbles stayed in the imp's shape, and they simply walked right through the gate. Through the entirety of wood, leaves, and a foolproof lock. Epona dropped her jaw in disbelief. She was amazed. She was outraged. She was flabbergasted. She was all the feelings a horse had when they saw an unknown and unwanted character walk through a wall.

Epona had been so distracted by this event that she didn't notice Coro merrily petting the fur on her shoulder. His hand felt disgustingly greasy, and Epona felt just about ready to vomit, when, miraculously, she heard her master calling her back. She quickly reared into the air, neighing loudly and making the man stumble backwards. On her hind legs, Epona started a hopeless sprint back to her owner.

(Author's Note: According to me, horses can vomit. XD

Can they?)


	3. Chapter 2

Midna smiled. She didn't know why she smiled, but she did. It was more of a possessed smile, an automatic upturning of her lips she could not control. Her lips separated, and Midna found that her cheeks started to hurt from baring her teeth so widely. Still, this smile seemed to overpower her. Her head began to tremble, and she heard herself cackling uncontrollably. With all of her strength, she managed to close her eyes. All of her previous involuntary motions stopped short. Midna gasped as her mind entered back into reality. Her eyes darted left and right across the trail ahead of her. Midna didn't know what the hell was happening to her. Ever since she started wearing this helmet, things had...changed.

Midna smiled again. Voluntarily.

_My helmet...my helmet has played a large role in my life. If I can find the__** rest **__of my damned helmet, I can find Zant_. Midna shuddered at her last word. It was such an ugly word. Even uglier a name.

"Zant."

Cruel, bitter as it rolled off of her tongue. It echoed through the walls of the trail she was trekking through. The echos shattered into knives, or what felt like them, and lodged themselves into Midna's acute ears. Her eyebrows furrowed as the knives entered her head, mind, thoughts. Other names would be much more suitable for his kind. Thief. Traitor. Enemy. Yes, all perfect names for Zant. He was the one who caused Midna not to have any friends, the greedy bastard. Always thinking for the benefit of himself. Voices screamed in her head as she recalled her last memory in her world she was so fond of.

"What is that?!"

"She calls herself the – impossible! Simply impossible!!"

"And what in the world is she wearing on her head?"

Midna touched her helmet delicately.

"Rid of the ugly imp!"

Midna's nose started to tingle, and her eyes started watering. She despised the word 'imp,' as well. No, not despised. Hated. She was NOT a lesser being, as imps were known to be. Far from it. Imps were truly gruesome, never to be called something liked. But as much as she was against it, she knew this would always be true about her. No one ever would like her, not even the most sympathetic of hearts. And then, heart completely drowned in sorrow, she remembered her last words from Zant:

"Have fun."

For the second time that seemingly endless night, Midna wept. This crying of hers was unbearable. It seemed whenever she thought of her unfortunate past, and her inevitably horrible future, she cried.

After what seemed like half an hour, Midna was kept busy drying her soaking eyes and face with a weary hand. She opened her eyes, and shock swept over her, as she spotted something peculiar in her blurry vision. It looked something similar to a pig, but she wasn't sure. She blinked the rest of her tears out between her eyelids, and, to her surprise, a monstrous blue-skinned boar, six feet in height at the shoulder, and his rider were charging through Hyrule Field, destroying anything, gates, trees, even other animals, that stood in their way. Midna's heart skipped a beat, then two. The rider was a portly, green/brown-skinned goblin, at least eight feet tall. It wore a winking metal helmet on its head that completely covered its face (thank the goddesses). The goblin wore no clothing, save for a skimpy, ragged cloth tied around its waist. Its large abdomen was decorated with crimson cuts and bruises. He was nothing pleasant to look at.

Suddenly realizing she was staring, Midna tore her gaze away from the goblin and frantically searched for a place to hide. There were no trees she could reach, and no shadows she could disguise herself in. As a last resort, she did simply what instinct told her to do: run the other way.

At first she jogged, for the boar was rather slow. But, being a goblin, the rider overworked it, slapping at each of its sides alternately with a harsh-sounding whip, and this sent it into a frantic sprint. This quick change caused Midna a quick change as well, for she found herself speeding through the air at amazingly high speed. _Floating? I'm floating? Sweet! I'm floating! _Earlier that night Midna had floated, but she had been concentrating so hard, she hadn't realized. Trees whizzed past her, melting into nothing but shades of green and brown. She carefully dodged branches and boulders, and soon, she found herself back in the Faron Woods, in front of the lantern man's tree-house.

Coro was peacefully asleep again, like he was before that stupid horse came. What a ruckus it made! It had almost blown her cover from the human, the idiot thing. Midna noticed there were plenty of trees here to hide in, and chose a particularly tall and bulky one immense with dark leaves in front of the trail to Hyrule Field. Soon after, she saw the monster duo charge into the forest, quickly waking Coro. At first he looked expectant to see another horse, but that hope vanished as he, horrified, stared wide-eyed at the monsters. The goblin unsheathed a ghastly sword and balanced it between Coro's shoulder and his neck. Coro was quivering uncontrollably, but somehow managed to keep his head from shaking in the wrong direction and slicing an artery in his neck. Midna squinted at what she saw after: the goblin gave the man a note (where he kept it, she didn't want to know). It was written in Hylian, so she couldn't read it, but she discovered it was probably threatening him not to tell a soul about what he had seen, because after Coro read it, he looked at the goblin and nodded nervously. The goblin sheathed his sword and kicked his boar, making it dart into the large tunnel leading to Ordon.

Coro then sprang up from his log, and ran inside the tree house. After five long minutes, he came back out with a sign, red paint and a paintbrush, and a silver key. He walked, like a sleepwalker, to the small tunnels next to the one the monsters had run off through and closed a rough-looking gate, and locked it shut with the key. He painted a message of warning on the sign, and planted it in front of the gate. Midna, with her sharpened sense of hearing, heard him muttering something like, "If those came from Hyrule Field...who knows what else could be in there?" It was then that she decided she was not going to leave the Faron Woods under any circumstances. She rested on the length of the branch she was sitting on and slept restlessly. However, if she had just fallen asleep a few minutes later, she would have been able to see a strange yellow light cloud the forest. Black particles danced in the light, and the clouds were no longer white, but shades of black and purple. The sky looked as though it was an enormous yellow stained-glass window.

Instead of a sunrise came Twilight.


	4. Author's Note

_I'm sorry. This chapter is not a chapter. It is an Author's Note completely. This is meant for reassuring myself that the edit in Chapter Three is not missed. It's a big one. And, this is also meant to inform you that the next chapter might take a while. It's going to be longer, and I'm going to check it over and over again to make sure nothing's wrong with it. So...yeah._


	5. Chapter 3

[Author's Note: I realize I made a mistake in the last chapter. When Midna was running back to Faron, the gate magically disappeared somehow. Forgive me, loyal readers. Now, onward!

Countless images of gory, damaged, blood-bathed faces and nightmares that could scar a soul kept an Ordonian boy from sleeping. He sat upright in his wooden-plank bed, shoulders tensed, as though ready to leap up and fight. There was nothing very dangerous in the town of Ordon, however. Every animal was tamed, every heart kind. Still, Link found it impossible to even blink on this dark, black-clouded night. This was bad. He had to deliver an important gift to the royal family tomorrow on Epona; it was at least one-day trip. How was he going to make a good impression if he arrived with bags under his eyes? Strange things had been happening the past couple of days. Monkeys from Faron (they had immigrated to Hyrule somehow) had been entering and leaving Ordon whenever they pleased. They did no actual harm, just annoyed the villagers, such as stealing products from the local shop, or lead a cat to a pond then kick it in. No one really wanted to take notice to it, but Link found it impossible to ignore.

In fact, (he didn't tell a soul, because he was scared of what their response might be) yesterday morning, one of the monkeys had led one of the older toddlers, Talo, past Faron Spring and through tunnels into a forest neither of them knew, causing them both to get lost. Being the dependent town hero, Link had to find them and lead them back. His first time in the dark tunnels. It took Link longer to get into them than he expected: the gate was secured shut by a rough lock, and he first had to find the man who kept the key. Link had seen him before, his name was Coro. He said he locked the gate because he'd heard noises coming from the tunnels, and didn't want whatever it was traveling into Faron. He informed Link of facts Link didn't really care for ("...the tunnels get wicked dark, even during the day!") Coro was talented at heavily boring customers, and must've practiced this art: Link was so dazed by Coro's seemingly endless speech, he didn't even realize he bought an oil-filled lantern from Coro for one hundred Rupees. What a rip-off. Link promised revenge as he snatched the silver key from Coro's open hand and made his way toward the locked gate.

Shrieks and scratching echoing from the tunnels' direction made Link want to scream and run the other way, but he beckoned himself forward. When he first entered the tunnels, he noticed that Coro couldn't have been more right. Closing his eyes actually was brighter than these tunnels. He couldn't see his hand in front of his face, but he could hear the shuffling claws of rodents and critters. Then he remembered, the lantern! Thankful, but not completely reassured, he swung his lantern in front of his face and carefully lit it. His match met the oil, and Link shut his eyes as he prepared for the worst. Orange blotches beat through his eyelids as the fire blazed, and Link figured that it'd be better to open his eyes now than later. Reluctantly, he separated his eyelids and saw...nothing. Nothing but his lantern and his hand holding it. Link, realizing what a pathetic deal he had been making this entire situation into, chuckled and confidently strode forward.

Not more than a few steps later, what seemed like an enormous Venus flytrap supported by a twig rocketed upwards from a patch of tall grass and lunged for Link's waist. Link wanted to yell, but he was too busy taking it all in. _Since when did Faron have __**monsters**_ The plant succeeded in executing a secure lock on him, and it began vigorously gnawing, spit ropes dangling from its mouth and staining Link's once kempt clothes. Link strained as he tried to pull himself away, but the harder he tugged, the tighter the plant's ferocious grip got. He managed to at least get his arms free. Link groped the plant's supporting twig and snapped it into two. The stick's red hue instantly dissolved to gray, and the twig crumbled, disintegrated between Link's fingers. The thing's 'mouth' lost its deadly grip on Link's waist, and instead of graying and disintegrating as well, it thudded on the ground and shriveled into what seemed like an humongous walnut. Not caring the least bit what the walnut held, and not wanting to deal with any more monsters, Link began sprinting through the tunnels.

But what a fool was he to expect no more monsters. Link encountered two more of the tall plants. Link kept sure to keep his arms raised when the mouth lunged, so he could snap the twig as quickly as possible. He also discovered many bats dangling from the ceiling, cleverly hiding in shadows from his lantern's gloomy light, and every one of them squeaked and shrieked as they flitted towards Link's neck, nasty fangs glinting with saliva. He swatted at the bats, each one looping away as if being dragged by a vortex, then, as well, grayed and disintegrated. Strange. After flicking what seemed the last of the bats, Link had just enough time to ponder his whole situation through. _Did Talo even make it through here? Is his dead body hidden in one of these tunnels?_

Feeling completely horrible, but somehow mustering up the courage to go on, he trekked through the last of the maze and found himself in large clearing. Well, what would be a clearing, save for the trees the diameter of wagons. They were planted all around the field, and had gaps in the roots large enough to park a horse. Link started walking towards what looked like a gate, but could analyze from a distance that it was locked shut. Another gate locked shut. Like he hadn't had to open enough gates already. Link, frustrated, turned on his heel, but to meet the worst thing he had encountered so far: a goblin.

Blotchy purple skin, a distasteful wrinkly face, and breath that could stun a yak. Its nose was a mere inch away from Link's, who had to hold his breath, purse his lips and squint to prevent vomiting. Baring its flesh, blood, and plaque-stained teeth, the goblin raised a wide, but thankfully dull, sword and swung it beside Link's neck, who had just opened his eyes. He had barely enough time to contemplate what the goblin was planning on doing, and crouched as the sword breezed over his head, where his neck had just been. The goblin's hopes of this boy being a shoo-in to the underworld quickly vanished, and he growled with displeasure, so unhappy he hadn't realized that the boy had already dashed off to a nearby tunnel.

Link panted as his mind snapped back into present times, and huddled in his bed's dark little corner. He wrapped his arms around himself, to create some sort of false warmth, and rocked back and forth, back and forth. He had managed to save the boy, thank the goddesses. To his surprise, the key to the locked gate resided in the tunnel he was hidden in, and Talo was just past it--safe with the monkey. Talo, as they found their way back, crawling through the trees' tunnels so as not to be seen by any more horrifying creatures, whispered about how he and the monkey were scooped up by 'really big, ugly, smelly, dirty monsters,' and were dumped in a random part of Faron. Link, at the time, honestly didn't care, and focused on the goblins' guarding patterns. But now he wish he'd listened to Talo. The information he could've collected!

Sunlight shone through Link's bedroom window as the exploding bright sun rose behind glorious mountains. It made small carpets of warmth on his wooden floor. Complete disappointment swept over Link, and a creeping terror sunk in his stomach.

"Fuck."

[Author's Note: Yeah, I thought it'd be funny if Link swore. XD Anyways, I hope the mistakes I've made so far aren't obvious. But no one pointed them out in the reviews, so I guess I'm doing pretty good at covering them up.


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